October 2001 Archives
Jun 06, 2008
tonight i dressed up in checkered tights, a hot pink vinyl mini-skirt,
my black and white checkered dress shoes, a "peaches xxx" tank top, a fairy wand, and a white purse.
natasha
tossed on her pink princess prom dress and we headed downtown
to the rock show. the show didn't start for a while so se walked up and down
6th street. the police were in effect. they barricaded off about ten feet
down the center of the street. it was so much fun seeing everybody all
freaked out in their costumes.
the night was going great - we ran into people we knew - the music was good -
the bands were dressed up in costumes too.
her mom called and a
tsunami of negativity dragged our moods into the gutter with the puke,
cockroaches, and discarded beer bottles. we left before the
band we paid to see came on and headed home immediately.
we got into a few completely petty and viscious arguments on the way too.
it's amazing how fragile happiness is - how slow it is to build and how quickly it can vanish - how hours of fun and good times can be dwarfed in significance by a 30-second phone call. amazing. and depressing.
in light of a new job prospect i've been brushing up on database skills.
i'm still in awe of the austin webring thing i built. god damn.
months ago i realized that 99% of my friends were girls.
i thought it'd be cool to meet some cool austin guys, so i posted a personal on yahoo explicitly stating that i was looking for "friends". i used the
word "friends" like 5 times in a small paragraph. i even used exclamation
points after one of them. "friends!!!" also, i explicitly stated "no scary gay old men".
well not only did i get exactly ZERO responses to the thing, but someone
confused it to mean that i was looking for GAY SEX ACTION. how
depressing is that? the internet is such a sleazeball place that everything
is assumed to be sexual, no matter how explicitly innocuous it is. jeezus.
the internet is such a festering sore of depravity, and filled with
cheaters and people with no morals or soul, "i have a boyfriend/girlfriend"
is assumed to mean, "lets gets naked and not tell anybody", instead of, "i'm unavailable". fuck.
fuck the internet.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 31, 2001
howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl! halloween is upon us. sweet. i'm gonna
dress up this year for the first time in years. i'm gonna do the goth /
zombie / transvestite kindof deal. yeah i know, not much of a stretch.
i am soooo exhausted. the past few days all my computer time has been sucked into THE Austin TX Webring. all other webrings pale before it's majestic beauty. php and css plus a dash of graphics from
timmy come together to create a monolith of splendor. it's a graphic-design masterpiece in it's own right. supremely minimalist, functional, and clean. not a pixel is out of place.
now austin webloggers et al can find each other on the web. how snazzy is that? go check it out. it's the new AUSTIN link off to the right there.
i feel like a fucking god! minus the god.
Sunday October 28th
still not a single response from my joke challenge. come on people
you have lots of bones. at least one of them must be "funny", right?
i learned that signmyguestbook and diaryland are not in fact down.. but when i
go to view them i just get the default diaryland page. i didn't have to recreate my guestbook in the first place. doh! it was fun hacking around in php though. i can view pages only through
anonymizer, which leads me to believe that it's a problem with roadrunner's dns servers, or something. who knows?
oh.. another mortal sin of weblogging is "talking about geeky computer shit", which i am obviously guilty of. bad evan.
for guys, being the "first"-anything to a girl feels really special.
today i felt real special.
here is a funny conversation i had with
cristina today:
stinkyneedsacure: i such a genius
coaxed: the internet jesus
stinkyneedsacure: ben can be moses
coaxed: i dunno if he liked men though
stinkyneedsacure: sure he did
stinkyneedsacure: im sure he coveted his neighbors ass.
god DAMN that girl is funny.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 30, 2001
tonight i picked
natasha
up from work and swung over to starseeds cafe for a little late-night
grub and gab. i finally met my fellow web god
big gay ben of kaosboy fame tonight. i met james, of
smile fame too. everybody around the table had a
website:
evan
johnny
ben
kelly
james
cristina
and
natasha.
everyone agreed that it was a great time and that we ought to do it
again real soon. i'm glad i get along well with
natasha's
friends. if i didn't that would suck. it's rare that i meet other
people that can make me laugh. really rare.
the night's perpetual rolling jokes got me thinking about the nature of
jokes. i think that jokes should can be categorized like genus and
species in biology. here is a while family of jokes that can be
classified as "the negation of a backhanded compliment followed by an
insult.
husband: you're so pretty when i'm drunk honey
wife: ?!?!?!?!?!?!
husband: just kidding
wife: ...
husband: you're ugly all the time
LOYAL READERS: this is a challenge. email
koax@koax.org with a joke that fits this form. the funniest response will get a cookie or something. and public recognition. you can use the guestbook too.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 27, 2001
it seems like every time i think i have adapted to austin another zinger comes
along. today while driving past a construction site i saw a couple of
construction workers operating a winch over a manhole. just as i was
passing a little mexican head popped out of the hole. it was like
charlie and the chocolate factory. so surreal!
signmyguestbook.com crapped the bed a few days ago with no warning.
i have no idea if it's coming back or not. so in the last few hours i
rebuilt my
guestbook in
php from
this
hideous one. go sign it. now.
Upcoming rock shows:
monday oct 29: the butchies / lord douglas phillips / litter meet @ emos
thursday nov 1: the anniversary / mars volta / mates of state / those peabody's / jenny toomey / carlos @ emos
friday nov 2: superchunk / the good life / schatzi @ la zona rosa
nov 10: death cab for cutie @ emos
dec 2: man or astroman? @ emos
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 26, 2001
today i locked my keys in the car and the spare one i keep in my wallet
wasn't there. also, i had both the pentax and the yashica cameras on my
person. did i get upset? ooooh no. i just walked on home.
the most direct path home was along the "hike and bike" trail. the
weather was beautiful and there were lots of people out walking and
jogging around. it was really beautiful. the trail is fairly close to
my house but i hadn't taken the time out before to walk and appreciate it.
i took photos of flowers, a drinking fountain, landscapes, and even a
trio of turtles that were sunning themselves on a log as i walked by.
i used the yashica (medium format) camera. i should have the pictures up on here
within a week probably.
the whole experience was perfection. perfection in the afternoon.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 25, 2001
natasha
was sick today :( so i doted on her a bit :). ain't nothin like
tender lovin' care.
i need a job. or to be in school. any kind of structure, really.
it's about damn time. i'm goin nuts.
i took a
political party quiz and got these results:
1) Green Party 76%
2) Reform Party 62%
3) Libertarian Party 52%
4) Democratic Party 52%
5) Natural Law Party 52%
6) Constitution Party 33%
7) Republican Party 29%
all of diaryland.com and signmyguestbook.com seems to be kaput.
i wonder if they will come back. maybe it's time for a new guestbook.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 24, 2001
stye - Inflammation of one or more sebaceous glands of an eyelid.
and i've got one in my right eye. ugg. it's like a pimple.. inside my eyelid.
it really sucks. it looks like the corner of my right eyes is rotting.
and did i mention that it sucks?
i'm supposed to microwave a moist facecloth and press it to the affected area.
so i've been doing that. it's itchy too.
oh yeah, and it sucks.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 23, 2001
a href="http://creamy.waferbaby.com" target="natasha">natasha and i
have decided to become vegans. not hard-core vegans though. the only meat we can
eat is cheeseburgers. we are very serious about this. we think _those_ cows
probably had it coming to them.
we played some arcade games up on "the drag" tonight. she cut her toe up
on a jagged piece of metal jutting out of the sidewalk. it sucked. we figure
the scientologists put it there to wound pedestrians and lure them into their cult
compound when they came seeking band-aids. on the way back to the car one
of the cult members invited us attempted to coax us into taking a "stress
test" that they had set up on the street. i quipped, "naw, that shit is wacky!" i guess ya had to be there.
on the way home we stopped to get some cheeseburgers (see first paragraph) at
micky d's. every fast food restaurant has their own word for denoting that
you want the largest size. wendy's has "biggie", mcdonalds has "super-size",
burger king has their own word too. i can never remember which words go
with which "restaurant" and i bumble out all the words i know that are
synonymous with "big". so when we pulled up to the drive through tonight
i requested that they "extra biggie super jiggy"-size it.
so far as we could tell we haven't gotten spit served with our "food" yet.
you all should try it, it's fun.
also,
this is really funny.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 22, 2001
like a moth to flame - i kiss your brain
last night julie brought me to a rock show / party that her friends held
down in san marcos, of all places. the town is very conservative.
it's full of old christians. history has it that it used to be a "dry"
town. pretty scary, huh? and just 20 minutes outside of austin.
her friends turned out to be supercool. the music was good and rockin.
there was a campfire too. mmmmm fire. a sheriff showed up about 30 minutes
into the rock music. the house is out in the middle of nowhere, but apparently
there is a sound ordinance. old christian folk not appreciating the
muffled satan music that reached them, no doubt.
tim is redesigning.
i'm excited to see his new design. hopefully no more white text on a
black background. here's hoping! you all should go over there and
encourage him. i'm one of the only people to torment him ala his
guestbook. for those that don't know tim, he's my best guy friend. he lives in albany, new york. for now. muhahahhaha.
i really have a lack of good guy friends here in austin. i'm not sure
why that is.
i'm about to go meet jules at spiderhouse for copious conversation and
a couple of cups of coffee. how's that for alliteration?
for you illiterate motherfuckers, go check out
dictionary.com. it's invaluable.
natasha was upset
today. her brain chemistry seems way out of whack and she's unhappy with her
life right now. it really sucks. it's hard not to take it personally
when she's hurting like that. i'm afraid the more i tried to help (by talking to her), the more i aggravated her frustrations.
i'm a fixer. i like to fix thing. ain't no problem my squad can't fix.
i felt pretty useless today.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 21, 2001
b>Nine Inches of Emo
i got my emo pierced today
to see if i still feel
i focused on the pain
of my emo filled with steel
the music tears a hole
that old familiar sting
like jimmy eat world
AND the promise ring
now i am the most emo
of the scenesters at the show
my bag covered in buttons
from all the bands that i know
when i hear the music
my body starts to spasm
my eyes well up - my emo swells
and i have emogasms
my parents call me moody
my shrink calls me depressed
they don't know the emo heart
that beats within my chest
so if you see me out there
in clubs or on the street
wave and say "cheer up emo kid!"
because that's the standard greet
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 20, 2001
today i swung up to
ut
to their employment services department looking for a job. then i drove
down to help jeremy with a computer problem. next i got my eye-infection
thing diagnosed as a "stye". ugg. it hurts. finally i brought
natasha to work. she wore her little
movie-theatre outfit. god damn she looked cute. yum!
so tonight is friday night. big party night. woohoo. now i've just gotta figure out where.
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere party party party....
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 19, 2001
things guys are good for:
1) carrying heavy objects
2) fixing shit
3) opening pickle jars
so this morning i felt pretty masculine successfully replacing my altima's car battery.
hold the pickle.
tonight i went to yet another rock show. this time it was "winslow". they
played really good. julie and i had a mini-debate about what to call
their music. it really didn't remind me of "emo". and not really indy.
progressive with the guitarist veering off wildly... feedback.. the works.
i like.
thought for the day: when they find the bodies and give me "the chair", my last
meal will be a big chocolate brownie with chocolate syrup and a dollop of vanilla ice cream on top. mmmmm.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 18, 2001
bush: "People are going to get tired of the war on terrorism," Bush said in the interview with Asian news organizations. "And by the way, it may take more than two years ... I envision something longer than that," he said.
"There's a variety of theaters. So long as anybody's terrorizing established governments, there needs to be a war," he said in the interview, a transcript of which was released by the White House.
good fucking god. he's basically writing a blank check to wage war all
over the place. i hope, as he says, people (including the UN) DO get "tired"
of the "war on terrorism" and put an end to all of this. jesus.
the last time i posted current events some readers got upset and posted
acidic shit in my
guestbook.
and the wtc/plane thing happened not much more than a month ago. it's
startling how quickly apathy sets in. just pass the remote control and
the cheeze doodles and let you back to your cozy little bubbles.
apathy is disgusting. you should be ashamed of yourselves.
my car fritzing out has prevented me from getting much done today.
what a bummer. more to come...
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 17, 2001
today was a big hairball of frustration. from beginning to end.
this morning my car wouldn't start so i had to jump it. ran some errands,
played with my fancy new camera, ate lunch. blah.
do you think that anybody has ever walked out of the dmv with anything
but a sour look on their face? today i stood in line at the municipal
court for an hour waiting my turn to pay a $10 "oops i forgot my annual
car inspecion" fee. (pretty much a dmv-esque experience) i got up there and the ticket wasn't entered into the
computer yet. such a waste of time. gah! so i get to do it all over again.
julie visited on her fancy new motorscooter. she is a big bad biker now, so
you best watch out! i took pictures of her on it. i hope they come out good.
she let me drive it too. vroom vroom! that was really fun.
natasha came over
and we wrestled. i'm happy to say that the bleeding has stopped and the
swelling has gone down. (and you think i'm kidding). heh heh heh.
my cell phone is in shambles. the flippy-up part came completely off. the
only thing connecting it to the phone is the dangley little wire. i'm sad. that's
my first cell phone ever and i don't wanna have to buy a new one. looks that way though. i think i've been missing calls too. i'm such a sentimental fool.
it's just like "old yeller" .. except with more plastic and less golden retriever.
and what austin evening is complete without a good old-fashioned rock show?
i met julie and kim at the
ut ballroom
for a free
spoon show. (side note: they're on superchunk's label). i ran into david (a guy i know from a furniture store as well
as a new-years party) and jaime (a late-night coffee-drinkin internet buddy).
austin is so small. it really makes my day randomly seeing people that i know. the show rocked out pretty good. i didn't realize how much i liked em until
they played a few of their really popular songs. yummy.
the post-rock-show nite-cap consisted of sipping coffee at spiderhouse with
julie and kim. my damn car wouldn't start afterwards. i hope you all
never have to endure the supreme embarassment of jumping a car off of a
motor-scooter battery. god damn. naughty, naughty altima.
so after girl-talk i swung over to the friendly neighborhood grocery store for
the following items:
1) petroleum jelly
2) steel wool
3) distilled water
and
4) a hagen daas caramel ice cream bar on-a-stick
i'll let you perverts figure out the rest.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 16, 2001
natasha was
sick today so i doted on her. french fries, foot massages, that sort of thing.
took her little devil-dogs for a walk too. one of them likes to eat dirt.
i do not understand.
i got my car inspected and deposited one of the last checks i'm gonna be
getting from the state. i've got a few job prospects in the works.
i'm gonna play it safe though and find a temp job through
ut tomorrow. i'm gonna apply
anyway. all roads lead to ut. i'm waiting to see the yellow bricks and
prancing midgets in tights, et al. this is gonna rock.
a whole buttload of people have been visiting this site but not many
have been signing the
guestbook or writing me
mail.
i really care about your opinions on the new design, and the site in general.
what do ya like? what do you hate? what would you like to see more of?
especially respond if you're in austin and/or have some sort of redeeming qualities.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 15, 2001
i picked up a spiffy
yashica 124g medium format camera. i can't wait to take some pictures with it. i think i wanna get into modeling / fashion photography. i adore the human form.
it's incredible capturing one moment in time of a living thing so precisely.
we're these amorphous blobs of people growing and changing through our
lifetimes .. to think that a tiny sliver of that can be captured
beautifully and forever. it's incredible.
it's immortality on a little square of film.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 14, 2001
slept most of today. my body needed it. i feel much better now.
time to destroy and rebuild.
thunder is rolling and the rain is pouring down. the wind is buffeting
my pimp austin loft. the night air is charged with magic. i wrote a
poem.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 12, 2001
julie and her new friend kim came over tonight to watch "dashboard
confessional" on my big cable television. i think that was the first
time i've used that thing since moving into this apartment.
i took that ricoh slr camera apart and put it back together again. twice.
i think that building a camera won't be so hard after all. getting
intimate with the guts of these things sure makes me appreciate the
technology more. a whole lot happens when ya push those buttons.
i've been jonesing to take more pictures lately. hopefully i'll get a chance
this weekend.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 11, 2001
last night i read a photography book by diane arbus. she was dead by the
time that the book was published. the words were written by her family.
they described her technique as capturing the "art of seeing". her best
known works had embodied irony, emotion, judgements, and composition.
decisions. these photographs didn't posess those qualities. these
photographs made no judgements. "the art of seeing"
so that's what i was thinking about at 2am driving to the grocery store
to buy some cereal. it's a tough concept to get my feeble mind around.
"the art of seeing" being conscious of what your eyes are doing -
and what they're feeding your brain. feeling the subject with your
eyes.. it's tones, it's textures.. the contours, the visual nature of the thing.
and "seeing" itself, the quality beyond just making sure we don't bump into things. the process. it's about the process, not the subject.
so that got me thinking in analogy as i often do. if there is an art to "seeing", it's probably close to the art of "being". the art of experiencing....
the art of living. where the destination is secondary to the ride. it's all about the ride. it's nothing but the ride, really.
i think a lot of my generation is in a rush to "grow up". a rush to achieve
a degree / a job / a spouse / children / material success, and not necessarily in that order either. those are the big black dots on the timeline. "goal-oriented", i believe is the word they use.
generation-y. they are more concerned with the destination than the ride.
so they work 80 hours a week at internet startups, pump themselves up
on all sorts of amphetamines and narcotics, sacrifice their health, their
relationships. "goal-oriented". i cringe every time i hear the phrase.
there is an infinite number of little dots in between those big black ones, and
i plan on appreciating them all a whole lot more.
so yeah - i'm looking at things a little differently today.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 11, 2001
i got a lot done today. i awoke around ten, maimed myself with a mach 3 razor,
ate some lunch,
and signed on for 6 more months at my apartment complex. then i hit
a camera repair shop and picked up some broken cameras for disassembly/assembly.
the guy told me in no uncertain terms that i didn't have the ability to
build my own medium format camera. what a foolish man. muhahahha.
i came home and disassembled/assembled a 35mm camera and it seems to work.
clickity click. i am amused.
also, today i helped
jeremy with some computer problems, and checked the balance in my bank account.
i won't be sleeping with the pigeons just yet. yay.
i need to be around friends and i need some food.
grumble grumble.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 10, 2001
i got a contact sheet of a bunch of black and white shots printed today.
they came out pretty good.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 09, 2001
this morning i printed some resumes up at
kinkos on some fancy card stock. that place is great.
i wonder how much large 1'x2' glossy color printing would be. i've got some
fantastic slides of
natasha that i'd love to have blown up. anyhow, after that i dropped one off at
a very promising computer company up the road. the position seems like a really
good fit. they're working with all the technologies that i have experience with and that excite me. yeah i know, i'm a geek, i'm a geek.
i'm just really psyched at the prospect of working again. i'm gonna bust my
butt this week brushing up on c++, java, etc. so if you don't hear from me,
that's the haps.
oh yeah, i got snazzed up today. a tie and everything.
i was lookin slick. slick.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 08, 2001
was it just a dream?
were you so confused?
was it just a giant leap of logic?
was it the time of year that makes a state of fear?
methods were the motives for the action
and did i hear you say,
"my country right or wrong"?
did you save your face?
did you breach your faith?
women, there were children at the shelter
now who can stop the hail
when human senses fail
there was never any warning - no escape
and did i hear you say,
"my country right or wrong,
my country oh so strong,
my country's going wrong
my country right or wrong"?
i hear you say the truth must take a beating
the flag a camouflage for your deceiving
cuz i know - i know
it's written on your soul
i know - we all make mistakes
midnight oil - my country.mp3
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 07, 2001
i've got a job interview monday. i need to get up to speed on microsoft
frontpage for a test on it monday at 8am. i've never used it before,
but how hard can it be? folks who aren't too bright can make halfway decent
looking pages with it. it should be a cakewalk for a whiz like me right? i imagine it's just a matter of memorizing which menus to go to for what. joy.
we chilled at julie's tonight. she was sicky sick. we brought her
cigarettes and hagen daas coffee ice cream and arm and hammer toothpaste
with baking soda. then we had a party and used all said products. i'm
still sore.
i've got a new
lust object. god help me. it's so darn cute. sigh.
job job, i need a job.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 06, 2001
i did another natasha-shoot today. god DAMN i like taking pictures of
pretty girls. i think people should just pay us to look purdy.
we're awfully good at it.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 05, 2001
"if you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your fool mouth shut."
- that's one of the ten commandments of weblogging. i'm gonna write
all ten up. real soon.
i've got some job prospects. i've been running myself ragged these past few days. between job hunting and friends and everything my sleep rhythm has
gone straight to shit.
i added a bunch of offline content back to the site. check it out. oh yeah, and the webcam is new too. woohoo!
here's a
trite cartoon re: the wtc.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 04, 2001
his morning at mcdonalds the woman in front of me rummaged around
in a big box to find every one of the individually wrapped
"snow white and the seven drawfs" keychain things while her husband
stood passively beside her.
i hope that my future wife doesn't force me to pretend that she isn't insane.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 03, 2001
good and evil. virtue and sin. heaven and hell.
lies and truth. the paths we choose in life and the consequences they bear.
the slippery slope of morality. and mortality. the tenuous tightrope of temptation. guilt.
death. it's all there.... just open your eyes.
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 02, 2001
i took
this test and it told me i'm 70% alternative, 25% goth, and 15% trendy. neat.
paid the rent. hit the library. god _damn_ the public library is
cool. they letcha check out up to 20 things (books/cds/videos).
you don't have to pay a cent for it. and when yer done ya don't
need the figure out where to throw them away - which friend to pawn them off on - or which corner of your room they're gonna clutter up. ya just take em back. sha-weet! i checked out a whole bunch of technical books on cameras. i'm building a medium format camera from cheap parts on ebay.
oh no! i just installed ie6 because some chick that signed my
guestbook
said she couldn't read it under ie6, and i discovered that my site is completely
fucked. i checked it under the latest
mozilla, and it's fucked there too. greeeeat.
:getting out the mop:
natasha sent me
this link. it's called
"find your spot", and no, it's not a sexual thing, it's a test that tells you
what cities you ought to live in. here are a few of my top ones. i'm not including ones like little rock, arkansas. no test in the world could convince me
to live in a bumfuck state like that. here goes:
Oakland, California
San Diego, California
Honolulu, Hawaii
New Orleans, Louisiana
Baltimore, Maryland
Orange County, California
San Jose, California
Portland, Oregon
Las Vegas, Nevada
Washington, DC
Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Posted by Administrator on Oct 01, 2001
