December 2001 Archives
In the last few weeks I have been hustling for a buck here, a buck there.
I've kicked off my photography business, and business is pretty good.
I'm lucky to have so many creative and beautiful friends. Natasha
has left the web for the time being. All is fine and dandy though.
None of y'all should worry. I tutor computer science every chance I get.
A buck here, a buck there. Hi ho hi ho.
Natasha has been blowing my mind on a daily basis. Mostly in good
ways too. It's pretty amazing how much I trust her. Things get
kindof scary sometimes. Every step feels like a step in the right direction
though. Sorry for being so vague. I'll keep ya posted.
Through my life so far I've grown to learn what's important and what's not
in relationships. Honesty has got to be near the top of the list. I've
certainly been a bastard in that department before. There is really no need
to lie. To anybody. I think that people in general are insecure with
themselves and don't believe that other people are capable of handling the
truth. But I think they are. Not only do I believe that people are
capable of handling the truth, but also very appreciative of it.
It's such a scare commodity these days.
Realizing that we're all human beings and that we all make mistakes, and we
all have the same basic drives and motivations is a big step. How
can you get upset with something that you also see in yourself? Lord, my
writing ability has gone to shit. I'll do my darndest to write more often.
This next week I'll be building a grand and fantastic website. It will
shake the earth. It will be good. Very good. I'll give you a hint: it's a community thing.
Also, I am looking to puff my photography portfolio up with models, so if you're in Austin and want some mindblowingly awesome photos of you taken, or know
of someone who does, drop little-ole-me a line.
That is all.
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 28, 2001
Christmas day I rediscovered beauty in the world through a movie
called "Amalie". You should all go see it. It's good.
I redesigned this here website. That as fun. I'm diggin it.
Because I am tired, I will now sleep.
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 27, 2001
Christmas day I rediscovered beauty in the world through a movie
called "Amalie". You should all go see it. It's good.
I redesigned this here website. That as fun. I'm diggin it.
Because I am tired, I will now sleep.
spending time like credit
when you're young, time feels like it could go on forever.
but it doesn't. our time here is like money in the bank. we
spend it until it's all gone.
i'm glad to spend my time with you.
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 26, 2001
fizzle, SPIT
the image - SHIT
frazzle frying spattering
chemicals popping and hissing
like grease in a deep fat fryer
landing on pink skin
FUCCCCCCCCCCCK the howl is heard
the cursing cuss and blistered puss
fingernails dig into scoop the wound
soft and red and pure pain
scabs sear our cussing claws
pull apart like paper, the gentleness betrays
the wound - spites the spayed and neutered
cunt of a cat. inside.
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 23, 2001
uninvited feelings
they come without a warning and they stay too long
i don't want to feel
but if i run it'll be just as strong
i've been waiting
waiting for some kind of a sign
i try to seperate
try to seperate my body from my mind
i watch the clock
as the second hand slowly goes strolling bye
i don't want to feel
with a love once time's come to die
i've been waiting
waiting for some kind of a sign
i try to seperate
try to seperate my body from my mind
cold feelings in the night
you know this feeling just ain't right
and though i try i just can't hide
cold feelings in the night
look out
yeah i got faith
but sometimes fear just weighs too much
i want to feel cold winds flowing through me like an empty touch
i've been waiting
waiting for some kind of a sign
i try to seperate
try to seperate my body from my mind
cold feelings in the night
you know this feeling just ain't right
and though i try, i just can't hide
cold feelings in the night
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 19, 2001
vodka. i drank vodka for the first time in excess tonight with
kesha and her boyfriend payden. boy did we have fun. the last 6 months
has been a bubble of unemployment. a non-reality. the last time i saw
kesha was 6 months ago. she was still her gorgous youthful self.
and i felt a haggard old man. i felt pretty useless tonight.
it's pretty crazy. i don't understand how i could be so thoughtless in
excluding people from my life. anyhow, tonight was really nice.
we drank vodka.
the russian people had to endure a lot of bad things. starvation.
vodka is a good way of surviving starvation. those russians had
the right idea.
endure.
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 18, 2001
a moth's wings
a touch framed
a red sliver of glass
my drugged frame
my limp lame
another piece of ass
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 18, 2001
Let me formally state that I've never met this girl.
and then out of nowhere....
totalcorruption101: hey, who's this??
me: we fucked our brains out
me: you don't remember me?
totalcorruption101: John!!! hey what's up?
totalcorruption101: sorry didn't call; you back, been busy
me: hey hey
me: it's ok
totalcorruption101: not pissed?
me: i'm about to go to bed though
me: how could i stay mad at you?
totalcorruption101: not sure, lol,
totalcorruption101: sweet dreams :p
me: hitting the sack, night :)
totalcorruption101: hey call me soemtime and I'l come tuck you in again
me: this is Evan
me: i'm just fucking with you
me: (Link: http://koax.org)http://koax.org
totalcorruption101: huh????
totalcorruption101: fuck you
totalcorruption101: lol sorry
me: Johnny boy
me: ooooooooooh
me: :)
totalcorruption101: :">
totalcorruption101: lmao, I am sooo sorrry
me: you wouldn't make a good spy
totalcorruption101: lol, never said I would
me: it's ok, pretty funyn too :)
me: glad to see you've been getting your swerve on
me: the world needs more of that
totalcorruption101: lol, bet you were laughing your ass off over there
totalcorruption101: :">
me: totalcorruption101: hey call me soemtime and I'l come tuck you in again
me: hahhahhaaha
me: that's ripe! :)
totalcorruption101: lol, sorry didnt' recognize the name
me: no problem
me: you made me giggle
totalcorruption101: hey dude liked to be tucked k? lol
me: what rhymes with tucked?
me: hmmmmm
me: :)
totalcorruption101: lol, smart-ass
me: i think i need to break out the rhyming dictionary for that one
totalcorruption101: lol,
me: :)
me: mind if i post this to my site?
totalcorruption101: lol, just don't put my name
totalcorruption101: lol
me: ok
me: night kid :)
totalcorruption101: g'night
totalcorruption101: :p
At her request, I took my name out. ;)
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 16, 2001
Last night I met with
Matthew Fuller, the fantastic local Austin photographer. For three
hours we drank
Spaten and
discussed a breadth of topics from women to photography to photography, photography, photography, and photography.
A lot of misconceptions about equipment and film choice were shattered.
It gave me a profound appreciation for lighting,
a realistic sense about where I was within the field,
a good idea about what the next steps should be, and how to get there.
I have a list of books to read, magazines to subscribe to, and techniques to
master.
In short, it blew my mind.
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 14, 2001
I've decided to kick this "reckless pursuit of identity" UP a notch.
This site will be overhauled, a new one constructed, and many
exciting times to come. Stay faithful, dear reader. You know I've
always loved you.
Continue Reading…
Posted by Administrator on Dec 12, 2001
you can see it in a clear blue sky
you can see it in a woman's eyes
you can hear it in your baby's cries
you can hear it in your lover's eyes
you can touch it in a grain of sand
yeah hold it right there in the palm of your hand
feal it 'round you every day
and hear what i've got to say
yeah
god gave me everything i want
come on - i'll give it all to you
i saw it in the midnight sun
and i felt it in the race i won
and i hear it in the windy storm
and i feel it in the icy dawn
and i smell it in the wine i taste
and i see it in my father's face
and i hear it in the symphony
and i feel it in the love you show for me
yeah
god gave me everything i want
come on - i'll give it all to you
i can't stop - can't stop
i'm still looking now
god gave me everything i want
oh come on
i'll give it all to you
"crazy" you said, "it's all in your head"
(chorus)
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Posted by Administrator on Dec 10, 2001
hen you're young, time feels like it could go on forever.
but it doesn't. our time here is like money in the bank. we
spend it until it's all gone.
i'm glad to spend my time with you.
Continue Reading…
Posted by Administrator on Dec 07, 2001
The internet is a tiny tiny tiny place. Last night I accompanied
my friend Ryan to see the "Dahebegebees" at Momos. In an effort to
become a more social, less hermetic person, I invited Adriana and Michaela
along. Adriana, you all know from "The Iron Triangle", and "Boobalicious" fame (see
here for if you don't know). A-lo arrived mostly on time and kept me company outside
where I huddled my emaciated body around the space heater. While we
waited for Michaela to arrive she guessed that the tallish girl sitting near
our table was her. That girl turned out to be just another random club ho. Awfully glad it wasn't her. Since Adriana has a job she had to leave early.
Gosh, why do people have jobs anyway? So much trouble.
Michaela swaggered in shortly thereafter. She was pretty easy to spot,
standing at 5'10". I really need to work on my posture. I'm 6'2", and I
found myself at eye-level with her for most of the night. We gabbed and
drank and talked and gabbed. It turns out she knows my homie Mark
(from Albany NY) from a hacking/drug IRC channel. It blows my mind
still now.
"Dahebegebees" came on and I was disappointed. Then they played some
groovy jazzy numbers and I shook my tootsie roll on the dance floor.
They even covered Run-DMC's "My Adidas". Awww yeah.
We all went over to Ryan's house after the bar closed. On the way over
I got nailed from behind by a red late model beamer driven by
an inebriated bourgeoise motherfucker who promptly drove off. I didn't
get his plate. :grumble: :grumble: If you can afford a BMW, you can
afford insurance. That's what I'm saying. I guess he couldn't afford a DWI though, eh? Ahh well. It didn't so much as scratch the paint, but it
twisted my NYS-rust-weakened muffler into the shape of one of those
french pastries. Grrr. My darling Altima now sounds like a
filthy hotrod. While I get an odd satisfaction from the testicular
hum of the engine, I will replace the muffler tomorrow.
Ryan's pad was unusually chill. That's OK though because it allowed for
scads more conversation. Michaela is 2 months younger than me. We
got along marvelously. The world needs more of that.
Sorry I haven't written for a while. I had the idea in my head
that if I didn't have anything exceptional to say, I'd best keep my mouth shut.
I've had a change of heart. I'd rather satisfy your voyeuristic
hunger and my publishing cravings rather than saving it for a rainy
day that comes all too infrequently. Ok, I'm starting to use big words.
Must be time for bed. I'll be updating daily from now on,
so check back often, k?
Continue Reading…
Posted by Administrator on Dec 01, 2001