January 2002 Archives
Jun 06, 2008
So it's that time again where one looks back at the past year
and resolves to be a little bit less of a bastard in the next one.
I resolve to...
- get a GOOD job.
- take good care of my friends.
- have as much fun as I possibly can.
- master photography and java.
- update more often.
- visit my parents.
- eat better/more.
- build some neat websites.
- read these darn books.
- explore more of Texas.
- chill the hell out.
- think of more resolutions.
..and there you have it.
There's twelve of them. If I do one each month, I'll be sittin' pretty.
I miss getting feedback from you folks.
I'm beginning to think that nobody actually reads the sweet fruit of
my toil. If you're reading this, please
take a few moments out of your life to post YOUR new-years-resolutions
on my guestbook
Thanks. That'll be great.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 14, 2002
Tonight I swapped some shirts with Ryan, then went to the Ritz with Adriana
and her gang. It was like Old Times. "Old Times", being seven months ago.
Sometimes time flies and sometimes it drags. I think it has
something to do with anticipation. Having something to look forward to.
I've been putting job applications in everywhere.
Yesterday I got my first response. I went to the interview and
made a pretty good impression, I think. One of the interviewing
managers shares my love for photography. We talked about that some.
I've only got a few hundred dollars left in the bank. Snagging this
job would mean that I can pay rent next month. Snagging this job
would mean that I can survive.
I haven't heard back from them yet.
Ring, phone, ring.
My phone didn't ring tonight. I instead drove over to Ben's house, fed
Goblin (the cat), and watched the rest of the Alien(s) series.
Goblin laid on my chest and we shared warmth as we watched parasitic aliens
burst from their host's chests.
A good time was had by all.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 13, 2002
baby, your beauty bounds beyond booty
the nature of human companionship
Lovers and friends. There is this itch in all of us begging to be scratched.
Companionship and compassion and affection. We all want it.
Tonight I went to the Velveeta Room (a comedy club), and Oceans 11 (a bar).
Not having the horny-single-leering-guy mindset granted me the
perspective to witness a few glimmers of truth.
Bars and clubs stay in business by scratching that itch. Bringing
I enjoyed the company of everybody that I talked to tonight.
Each person is so different, like there's a whole universe
inside of them. A new and beautiful perspective. I've learned to
I used to be a dog. I used to be a predator. Thank god I'm not
The fascination of the unknown, the peeling away
of layer after layer, the exhilaration of discovery, and the
genuine appreciation of what's underneath. That's what it's all about
for me now. That's where I get my kick.
The secret to making friends is to be _genuinely_ interested in them.
Talking and smiling a lot helps too.
This concludes your daily lump of Evan-wisdom.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 12, 2002
A decline viewed in disappointing contrast with a previous rise
That's my word of the day.
Last night Adriana, Ellison and I had a little movie night.
After making a few sweeps through Blockbuster, I grabbed Amores Perros
(a movie none of us recognized, but which looked promissing) and told them
that if it sucked they had permission to take me over their knees.
(which alternately didn't sound like a bad evening) Luckily, for my
silly white ass, the movie turned out to be fantabulous. I won't
spoil the plot for you, but there is love, gunplay, brother-hate,
hot sex, sexy mexicans, an assassin, dog fighting, and a car chase
involved. A little something for everybody.
Go see it. Right now.
Did I mention that I adore Superchunk lyrics? Everybody should
own Superchunk's "On The Mouth" album.
I love it every time I come back to it.
There's an song on there for every flavor of angst you can imagine.
It's like the Baskin Robbins of angst.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 11, 2002
Apparently last night's word of the day was ironically appropriate.
The woman who offered me the job turned out to be a bullshit artist.
The job that would...
pay rent this month.
allow me to visit my parents.
get my teeth cleaned.
fund my photography.
grant me dignity again.
The job didn't exist. She sent me off to some random residency
in Cedar Park at nine in the morning for nothing.
I thought it was humiliating enough being unemployed. It was nothing
compared to the humiliation I felt knocking on random doors at
nine in the morning, being met with only confused faces.
I wonder what I did to deserve treatment like that. I've been nothing
but good to this person. What would motivate someone to jerk me
around so violently?
In all the years that I've been on the internet, this is the
sickest shit I have ever experienced.
People's capacity for cruelty astounds me.
Here is what I know of her (if any of it is true):
Melanie L Schmidt
options and commodities broker
Lives in Cedar Park, previously on Lake Travis
40ish years old
recently divorced from a semi-pro golfer
yahoo! IDs: mlsinc2000 mlschmidtinc thehatgoestojail
family in France, lives with one son
sent me to 3002 Birch Drive, Cedar Park.
brown hair(naturally blonde)
at least one dog
You all have been warned. She's a phoney. If she's even a "she".
"She" is probably some gay man that I shot down after he
e-humped my leg. Or something.
People suck. Except for YOU of course, darling reader. Unless YOU are Melanie. Then you still suck.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 10, 2002
funny thing about weekends when you're unemployed -
they don't mean quite so much.
'cept ya get to hang out with your working friends.
primus - spaghetti western
Posted by Administrator on Jan 09, 2002
Perhaps you've heard: I've sponsored legislation designating
today as National Find Evan A Job Day.
Today, every American is constitutionally obligated to do just one thing
that will bring Evan one step closer to being gainfully employed.
The bill is currently working it's way through Congress, but I'm confident
that it'll be enacted into Law. It's tacked onto a bill constitutionally
obligating senatorial interns to provide fellatio to their
To fulfill your patriotic duty, any of the following actions will
suffice. Think to yourself:
1) is your work hiring?
2) is anybody you know's work hiring?
3) is anywhere you know hiring?
4) isn't it about time that I buy Evan some beer/food?
5) I'd love to pay Evan to take photos/give me a massage/dig a hole/open a hard to open jar.
6) jeez, all these fat rolls of 100's.. I ought to let Evan hold onto these for a while.
If these ideas seem rediculous to you on first reading, drink heavily,
consume mind altering drugs, and repeat them over and over in your mind
until they make perfect sense.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 08, 2002
I woke up today and stepped out into the world. The sun shone
on my face, and for a few moments I felt an overwhelming sense
of simple serenity. It reminded me of when I was a child in Troy NY.
My mind was fertile and uncluttered back then. There wasn't a
thing in the world to worry about.
Adolescence was filled with sex and school and jobs and
trying out different identities. Different cliques and circles I ran in.
I drove myself
further and further exploring all the different flavors that the
world had to offer. Testosterone had to be the biggest driving forces
during this time. The child's mind gave way to theories and
science and politics and computers. Complexity.
For all the adventure and money and social agility it brought me,
I have come to miss that child-like contentment. I think that part
of becoming a complete adult human being is learning how to
consciously choose what kind of person you want to be, what things
are worth keeping in your life, and settling on some balance
between intelligence and contentment.
Those moments this morning were euphoric. I aspire to have more of them.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 07, 2002
You know in Fight Club where the short guy looks around his empty
apartment and all the Ikea furniture pops into existence until
his pad is filled, plush, and dope? That's sortof like what's going
on with me, except in reverse. I look around my loft and everything
has a little imaginary price tag on it.
"Hey, I bet I can get $50 for that lens on ebay. Ooh, and I could hock my real fake red leather recliner
for at least $300."
I even considered hocking my medium format camera. Hard times, man.
It's amazing how cheaply one can exist in this town and still have a good
time. I'm lucky to have such generous friends.
God DAMN I have good taste in women
Posted by Administrator on Jan 06, 2002
God DAMN I love to dance. I'm like a dog. If my rear end is wagging
I'm happy happy. I went dancing at Elysium (the old Atomic Cafe) for
"retro night" tonight. I made a few charming acquaintences, I ran into some
friends, a girl recognized me from my website, and I scored a job
prospect. All for 4 bucks too. What a bargain.
I get mopey sometimes, but I always feel SO GOOD after dancing. My juices
are all revved up, everything seems good and right in the world, and I'm
going to sleep like a baby. A happy baby. Like a happy baby on horse
Posted by Administrator on Jan 05, 2002
My father raised me to believe that my body would do anything that my
mind told it to. I believed him.
I grew up believing that I had limitless human potential. No obstacle
could help but succumb to my sheer force of will.
I laid challenges in my path and mastered them one by one. Computer
games were one of the first challenges that I picked. Later, my fancy
turned to girls, then basketball, marksmanship, meditation,
programming, massage, writing, painting, and web design.
The latest is photography.
It bothers me to suck at pursuits that I admire. I want to be good at
I don't pretend to be good at what I'm not, and I'm the first to admit
when I suck. I think that's an important attitude to have in life,
especially for an artist. The willingness to admit that my work is
shit is my single strongest motivating force. I think that it's
important to believe in god for the same reason. It's healthy to have
a force around to be humbled to. It keeps things in check.
I've never ever been defeated. My definition of success is what does
the changing. School is a perfect example. I had trouble with a couple
of classes a few years ago. Instead of conceding, "oh, I can't do
advanced calculus", I realized that advanced calculus wasn't for me.
I let it go. Then I was happy again.
Living in denial of reality would have been the bigger defeat.
Breakups were made impossibly painful by this mindset. So much
emotional power and control over me resting in the reckless hands of a
careless girl rocked my world six ways to Sunday. Nothing I could
do made a damn of difference. I hurt unstoppably.
Torment like that is the price to be paid for short-circuiting the fuse
of normal human limitations.
I wouldn't recommend it.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 03, 2002
Forces in my life have been lining up marvelously. I am now officially
broker than I have ever been in my life and I've never been so excited
about the future. This next month I plan on going into the real
estate business, the bath product business, the web design business,
and teaching. I also have job prospects with a couple computer companies
and a hotel. I hope most of these things work out well. I'll be
I also discovered a cheap darkroom that's close-by. Lack of a darkroom has
been the stumbling block in my photography path. No longer.
In a few months I plan on going back to school too. I just have to figure out
I went to the pound today with Ben
. We saw some cute doggies. I took photos of some of them. We
walked a sweet little bitch with droopy black tits.
Made my day.
And lastly, here is a recent photo. Natasha
I think I look like a sweet potato
with Down Syndrome. You be the judge.
an extrovert's wet dream
Last night Ryan, his friend Josh, and I met downtown for cheap women
and loose drinks. At the Ritz Ryan spotted a table full of seven girls.
I took "point" and penetrated the estrogen bubble by asking one of them
for a cigarette. I then hammed them up and introduced Josh and Ryan.
They told us that they were going dancing at Elysium later on and that
we should meet up with them. So we did.
I ran into Adriana there with a couple other of her friends who promptly split.
That was a good surprise. The boys were mixing well with the girls, so after
the club closed I organized a Love Caravan over to Ryan's pimp condo.
Ten people who we just met followed me there. I felt like Moses.
The scene was pretty mellow and enjoyable. I took turns yapping with
whoever decided it was their turn to smoke on the balcony. As the
evening wound down I laid on the couch and watched an OLD black and
white game show. In front of the host's desk sat an advertisement
for Winston cigarettes complete with plastic replicas of opened packs
with several butts sticking out of each pack invitingly to the viewer.
The television was muted because the stereo was thumping dope grooves
to the tail-waggling delight of the lingering party goers. I laid there
watching the contestant's mouths move. They don't have old people on
television anymore. It was refreshing to see old and middle-aged
normal-looking people on television. They seemed so genuine.
They kept me mesmerized for a good half hour.
When I clicked through the channels I landed on MTV. I counted.
No video sequence lasted more than three seconds, and some were only a second
long. The favorite transition between each sequence was a quick white flash.
There were no old people. There were no genuine smiles and gestures.
There was only young flair and that familiar epileptic flash. This is
what has become of our culture?
I imagine hell will be like that.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 02, 2002
I saw Kim Deal (ex-Pixies, ex-Amps) in concert at Saratoga Winners
in 1997. I had never feared that I might die in a most pit more
than that night when they played "Cannonball".
People like to jump around a lot more in upstate New York.
I didn't REALLY get into their music until I met Becky at
. While cranking
out code at the best company I have ever worked for I'd listen to all
the Breeders, Pixies, and Amps albums back-to-back. I fell in
When I heard that they (Kim and Kelley Deal) re-united and were playing
in Austin I wet myself. Since, as you know, I'm as broke as a very bad
joke, an online pal offered to pay my way to the show. While I waited outside
for an hour for her to show up, Kim walked by to check out the tattoo /
piercing parlor next door. I didn't have anything snappy to say at the time,
but in lame retrospect, "let's make a Deal" would have been apt. Doh!
My online pal flaked on me so I paid cash money for a ticket anyway. I was
angry at myself for going it, but I'm very glad I got to see the show.
I don't have the impression that they're going to be together for much longer.
Before the music came on, two different people recognized me from my website.
I felt a little famous. Woohoo. I must be doing _something_ right.
I met up with Denise
before the music started. I love the fact that anywhere I go in Austin I run into people that I know.
The club was PACKED. Since Denise
is like 4 feet tall, I led her up to the front so she could
see. It's amazing how co-operative people are when they don't think you're
going to stand in front of THEM.
Later Denise introduced me to the entire Book People
crowd that she works with. I'm trying to
get a job there. I now have five people's names to list as referrals. Score!
Nice folks too.
Hearing all my favorite songs of theirs again was great. As they played,
I watched Kelley
move as she mouthed the lyrics that she didn't sing. She was hypnotic. :swoon:
Kim cut the set short because she was too drunk to play, and told the crowd that
there would be no encore. "You're not mad at me are you?", she implored the
audience, then left the stage. We WERE disappointed. A roadie came out
to reinforce the fact that they weren't coming back on. A few people left.
After a few minutes of probable chewing out from her sister
(ex-Pixies, ex-Kelley Deal 6000), Kim came
back out and conceded that they'd play one more song. Yay!
"No bye, no aloha" it was. That song rocks my socks.
Then they left. I don't think Kelley
was too happy with Kim's performance and lack thereof. After the
"our next stop is Alcoholics Anonymous". The Kim-Kelley Deal Drama is still alive and well, apparently.
Posted by Administrator on Jan 01, 2002